


Good Talk

by still_emo



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: space, vague panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:37:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_emo/pseuds/still_emo
Summary: Thor is for sure running away from like earth in general, but whats space for if not to escape your problems.





	Good Talk

The ship lay silent and dormant, peter staring down the map as it glows before him, the guardians around him settle in ready for take-off. Thor views the scene from the entrance ramp, wondering how to approach, how they’d react, seeing him as is as a lightning drenched berserker, screeching into battle, is pretty different to seeing him present himself, somehow more and less than he’s ever been before. Vague hostility from quill didn’t do any favors either. A brief flash of panic spread across his chest. He didn’t want to challenge quill, he really didn’t, it was just so easy, far easier than trying to fit what happened into a new dynamic. 

Thor walked in quietly, clearing his throat, they all looked at him, and for a moment he wants them to tell him to leave, to drop him off somewhere in the galaxy that he couldn’t disappoint anyone else. Before he can wallow any further quill pipes up “hey, heading to Gliese 436 b, gonna see what’s going down, you up for it?” peter looks at him, differently to before, Thor can feel it in his gaze the way he scans him up and down, before finishing. “yeah sounds good” Thor gives him back attempting to mirror the motion, retain some feeling of competition between them. 

He comes up behind quill to study the map, perhaps too close as he removes himself from the proximity, just a little to fast to go unnoticed. Thor freezes, feeling the disgust, the disappointment, the burden he brings to the group, it hits him all over again, picking at the wound over and over and over, he retreats away from the map, taking a seat further back, away from them, where he won’t get in the way at least for a while. He sits there for a long while, and the alcohol starts to get to him, the drowsiness settling in his bones, before he realised it he was falling asleep. 

He’s back, leading because he has to, constantly afraid of doing something wrong, getting people hurt, or killed. The bridge falls and it serves as a testament to his failure his inability to lead or rule or fulfil his destiny at all, and as the dread builds to a deafening crescendo, he wakes up, with a sharp breath, his chest heaving, eyes wide the darkness of the ship comes into focus and he realises where he is. He forces himself to slow his breathing quickly making every effort to be as quiet as possible, its dark on the ship, at least where he is, he’s assuming everyone turned in for the night. He gets up as quietly as he can, and walks toward the cockpit, leaning on one of the chairs near the window, watching the space twist and warp around the endless nothingness, he takes a seat up front grimacing at how he fills the space in a way he never did before. He stares up at the stars and wonders if it’d go any differently had he been the leader they needed. After a long while on the edge of falling back asleep, a quiet rustling behind him startled him a little, peter was standing in a doorway, staring through the glass. Thor hoped he would just melt away into nothing before peter noticed him, of course at that moment peter stepped forward, just far enough to see him and immediately go for his blaster, for a moment Thor wished he’d do it, a freak accident, no one’s fault.

“fuck Thor, you scared the shit out of me” peter says, fastening his blaster back in its holster, and relaxing his stance. Thor feels as if he’s intruded on peter’s moment of quiet, just by being there, in that moment, “I’m sorry” he says quiet, he’s not entirely sure which part he’s apologizing for but its genuine. “s’okay, just getting used to having two big guys on the ship” peter tells him, taking the seat opposite and settling into it as deeply as he can, refocusing on the view outside the ship. “I didn’t mean like” peter says after a moment but Thor cuts him off “its fine” Thor tells him, feeling himself sink in on himself a little more, almost involuntarily, it feels strange, wrong. 

They sat for a long while, gazing up at the stars, it doesn’t feel weird, although maybe it should, Thor distantly hoped peter would fall asleep so he could sneak off and be alone. Part of him wants to apologize, not necessarily to peter, just in general, to humanity. He looks at peter and figures close enough, but he says nothing, he looks so gentle from here, cool blue light scattered on across his face, if the circumstances were different it might have been tranquil. But its not, peters here because he can’t sleep, and he’s here because his own brain wouldn’t let him get 10 minuets of peace without replaying how and why Thor fucks everything up for everyone. He glances back up at the stars, a galaxy light-years away, bleeds and fades in and out, he thinks about the blood on his hands and it makes him want to puke. He stops himself barely, but leaves the cockpit. As he makes a move to go, peter looks up at him he looks so young in that moment, brown eyes looking at him, its less where do you think you’re going, more don’t go. Peter parts his lips just barely, as if about to speak, but says nothing, Thor pulls at the end of his hoody, trying to hide in it more, feeling that he’s failing. “goodnight peter” he says trying to sound like himself, like what peter thinks he is. He gets back to a cabin and crawls in just barely fitting.

Its an odd thought but one he clings to, peter doesn’t know about his five year self loathing pity party, he can see it on his frame but he doesn’t have the story, not really. The big strong god from before, the prince, still exists in peters head. It makes him sad more than anything he half wants to storm back out there, apologize, explain everything, and tell him he can drop him off on the next inhabited planet. Thor shifts onto his back, in the cramped bed, thinking, worrying, getting so wound up in his own head he doesn’t even notice footsteps enter the room, and hesitate before coming closer “look man, I get it, I get that its hard to be a god? King? Whatever and end up on a shitty little ship with a rag tang gang of misfits and losers, I don’t really have a point here I just like, get it. If there’s stuff you want to say, its fine” peter says into the darkness, it catches in Thor’s chest and makes his eyes well up. There’s so much Thor wants to say, most of all though mostly in the moment he wants to stop shaking as soon as possible. He turns away in case peter saw already, but its too late, peter steps just slightly closer and puts a hand on his arm. Thor tenses but settles when peter doesn’t budge, “I don’t know what happened, and I you don’t have to tell me, but if running away from it is what you want out here, that’s kind of our specialty okay?” peter tells him, in the most reassuring captain voice he can find, and it makes Thor smile, just for a moment, Thor nods once hoping peter will take that as an answer. “good talk” peter says patting his arm and then talking away, he looks back just for a second, a dull ache in his chest, a worry for the man in front of him. 

peter returns to the main section of the ship and begins studying the map, looking for something exiting, something distracting, if Thor wants to forget, then he's gonna give him something worth remembering.


End file.
